Wanting Flowers
by WhenFangirlsAttack00
Summary: JiHoo had been friends Goo JunPyo since kindergarten, and while he truly believed that it was impossible to know everything about a person, he thought that he knew enough about his best friend to trust him with JanDi. But as he poured the boiling tea into matching china cups arranged on his sitting room table, he wondered if he had been horribly mistaken. (EDITED AND RE-POSTED)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Boys Over Flowers, nor anything pertaining to its immediate existence.

~ Chapter 1 ~

* * *

JiHoo had been friends Goo JunPyo since kindergarten, and while he truly believed that it was impossible to know everything about a person, he thought that he knew enough about his best friend to trust him with JanDi. But as he poured the boiling tea into matching china cups arranged on his sitting room table, he wondered if he had been horribly mistaken.

* * *

Rain against cedar harmonized in a breathtaking symphony of water, wind, and wood. Outside the trees swayed in time to the crackle of thunder as the windows masqueraded as portraits of tear-stained glass, and as far as Saturday nights can ever go; JiHoo had been content reading in his living room, listening to the soft beat of the descending drops as they struck his roof.

He had long since lost track of the time, far too entranced by the heroine of his story and her larger than life portrayal of any reality he had ever known. And when a soft knock at door reached his ears as he turned the page, he was surprised to discover that it was already quarter past eleven. The late hour alongside such unsavory weather in his mind, did not equal out to many probable visitors. Perhaps his grandfather had locked himself out of the house? It would not have been the first time.

Marking his page by dog-earing a corner – an act he normally did not condone – JiHoo gently lay his book down and rose from his white upholstered chair, stretching his back on the way to the door. His head still filled with far off lands, daring warriors, and white clad princesses, he opened the door expecting his grandfather, and at the strangest a visit from one of the F4. He had not at all anticipated his eyes meeting with Geum JanDi's. A princess in his own eyes, clad in a sopping white Peabody coat; her falling tears masked by the rain.

His hands moved swiftly across the countertop, meticulously preparing herbal tea. A task far too simple to keep his mind preoccupied for long, leaving it free to reel away inside his head, like a rewinding cassette.

JanDi and JunPyo lived a good twenty minutes away by car, and in the past few months had paid him visits both scarce and always together. For JanDi to travel so far for a simple visit alone so late at night did not really make any clear or probable sense. Of course that would be to assume that she was a clear and probable person, but that was beside any point. And even so, if JanDi were to abandon all common sense so late at night, it did not explain her appearance.

When he had opened the door, she was drenched through all layers of her outfit straight down to her skin. An obvious indication that she had walked. The idea alone was absurd enough considering the distance from his house in proximity to the surrounding area, not to mention the turbulent weather. But even her soaking appearance aside, he had quickly observed that she had skipped a button while doing up her coat, her shoes hadn't matched, and alarmingly enough for him – matched with her soggy appearance and lack of breath – she wasn't carrying an umbrella.

Sirens rang loud in his head as lights flashed somewhere deep in his heart, as well as the through the kitchen window. Lightning struck, shimming off the pristine china, and revealing the anger in his eyes. His protective nature instantly stirred, his dormant possessive demeanor arose as it was obvious that something was very wrong. And naturally, it irritated him.

Plating the matching cream cups and identical pot on a spotless steel tray, he gracefully strode into the sitting room where JanDi sat shaking alone on the couch. Her small form appeared even smaller inside the white-knit sweater and pants that JiHoo had lent to prevent her from catching a cold. A soggy towel sat neatly folded at her feet, having lost its valiant battle at drying her drenched, disheveled hair. Even in such a circumstance and toiling in worry, JiHoo couldn't help but smile lightly at the sight of her in his oversized clothes. It was cute, almost innocent.

He set the tray before her and began to the pour the tea. The steam spiraling up above and then disappearing before his unwavering eyes, created a tranquilizing effect in the room that well accompanied the unrelenting rain outside. It would have been perfect if not for the tense situation. After pouring the tea, JiHoo reclaimed his seat in the chair next to the couch, motioning to the cup, silently instructing JanDi to drink.

Cautiously, she sipped from her cup, unaware of JiHoo's eyes as they transitioned from stern, to gentle at the sight of his "princess" now safe from harm's way. The warm tea seemed to be serving its purpose in calming her down; JiHoo observed as he took a slip from his own cup. Silence persisted but it wasn't awkward. It was the familiar comforting silence that the two had shared on many an occasion, and was the reason why JanDi had come to JiHoo. Just like warm tea, he was comfort.

It was instantly understood without even a word that she was too overwhelmed to talk at the moment. Her still stunned state verified that beyond JiHoo's natural premonition. However with JanDi no longer soaked, he didn't need her words to confirm what he could so clearly see. The tinge of a newly forming bruise across her cheek, and fading ones dotting her exposed collarbone already made him irate and on edge. But the red trails down her cheeks exploiting her dried tears were what carried him over his breaking point.

"JanDi," he whispered, his attempt at keeping calm. "What happened?"

He didn't expect a response. And in turn he didn't receive one. Instead he watched, as he had for the past three years, as her sunken eyes grew dark and big, her lower lip quivered, and her hands clenched tight around her cup.

JiHoo could remember with frightening clarity the last time he had seen her so afraid. The day that JunPyo had looked her in the eyes, and couldn't remember a thing about her. The day she believed that his memory of her had been erased from existence.

JiHoo recalled it far too well, and had agreed with himself in that moment that it was not a suitable expression for Wonder Woman JanDi, and that he would never let it appear on her face again. Undoubtedly he had failed somewhere along the line.

JiHoo sighed, accepting her silence and was about to stand, deciding to prepare a room for his guest, when a sob escaped her trembling lips, and and the china cup slipped from her grasp, shattering against the hardwood. As lukewarm tea floated across the glossy floor, JiHoo instinctively loped to her side, holding her shaking frame close, his heart wrenching with anger at the situation he found himself in.

JanDi's tear soaked face clung to his button-down shirt, the hot tears from her cheeks seeped through to his chest. Her hands gripped his sleeves pulling herself even closer, and her body shifted, collapsing her down into his lap. JiHoo's long fingers threaded through her still damp hair, as his other hand held her close.

This was not what he wanted for her. He wanted JunPyo to hold her like this, because that's what JanDi had wanted. She wanted him to hold her, and love her, and whisper promises that would always come true, because JunPyo loved her just as much as she loved him. It had been hard, even agonizing for him to give this up. To give up the chance to hold her like this. But this…this was wrong. Holding a broken JanDi, listening to every strangled sob that she desperately struggled to suffocate, hurt him more than letting her go.

He retracted back and reached into the left pocket of his stainless white jeans, pulling out a clean white handkerchief. He gently traced the tears away, but news tears continued to fall faster than they could be dabbed dry. Placing the handkerchief aside, his futile attempt forgotten, he unconsciously wrapped his arms around JanDi once more in a protective embrace. He wanted to shield her from her surroundings, her memories, and all that was hurting her. All the while somewhere deep down, he noted the hallow pangs of anger.

It was anger towards JunPyo for doing this to JanDi; and anger towards himself for not hearing the warning bells sooner.

He bowed his head, lightly kissing the crown of her head. "I'm sorry JanDi," His lips traveled down so he could whisper across her ear. Her back heaved as she struggled for breath, her grip on his shirt tightened desperately. "I'm sorry that your firefighter failed you. I'm sorry that I'm so late."

* * *

Jaded and sore, JanDi woke to the faint sounds of clanging pots and pans. She rubbed her stinging eyes as she adjusted to the dim light emanating from the open window. The sky was a pale blue tinged with murky gray, and accented with dark clouds which littered the sky. A cool breeze gently stirred the pallid curtains, and while such weather normally dulled her mood, oddly enough, JanDi felt more at ease then she had for a long while. And for a slight moment, underneath the warm cotton sheets and lying on top of the soft feather mattress, she forgot about the past few weeks and the thunderstorm that landed her in such a place. All she remembered was JiHoo holding her close.

A faint smile appeared on her lips, but dissipated just as fast at the realization of why he had done just that.

Sighing, she threw off the blankets and kicked her feet around as she sat up yawning and stretching, which was minutely awkward considering she was drowning in clothes that were just a few sizes too big. Once on her feet, she closed the window, halting the bitter breeze which foreshadowed the possibility of another storm.

She sloppily threw the covers back up onto the bed as there was no sense in making it herself as she understood quite well that later in the day the maids would come and fix it themselves. Still, it felt wrong leaving the bed in such a cluttered state when she shouldn't have been sleeping there in the first place, so she hastily tried to at least straighten the sheets.

JanDi's aimless thinking was interrupted by the sounds still carrying in underneath the door. Only now instead of clanging metal, it was a gentle sizzling and glass clinking in harmony. Her curiosity was getting the best of her, and she carefully opened the door just enough to slip though. As she tiptoed down the hallway, the noises slowly grew louder as she approached the large open style kitchen.

Intoxicating aromas of butter, frying meat, and sugar engulfed the room, and the sight of JiHoo standing at the stove, flipping pancakes while singing tunelessly to a nonexistent audience involuntarily made her smile. JanDi laughed silently as she crept her way to the nearest counter. The appetizing smell was driving her crazy. She hadn't eaten dinner and just the thought of food had her mouth watering.

Still humming, JiHoo turned and jumped at the sight of his guest sitting on the kitchen island staring at the ground, watching her feet swing back and forth. He laughed off his shock shaking his head.

"Good morning,"

"Ahhh, good morning," JanDi woke from her distraction, momentarily forgetting her embarrassment. "Sunbae, you…you didn't have to make all of this." She motioned towards the table that was laden with porridge, bacon, sausage, and would soon be topped with a mound of pancakes that sat cooking on the stovetop.

"It's nothing," JiHoo wiped his hands off on a towel "It was my turn to cook breakfast anyway. Grandfather is getting ready for work, he should be out soon. You should start eating, it'll get cold." He flashed a smile and returned to the stove.

Immediately JanDi recalled why she was eating breakfast with JiHoo and his grandfather, and blushed twelve shades of red and pink. She awkwardly jumped off the counter and sauntered over to the small banquet. Sheepishly she fixed her plate with small portions of food, and was startled when JiHoo suddenly appeared beside her. He placed a large stack of pancakes on her plate, and generously heaped more food along beside it, silently reprimanding her hesitation.

"You can start eating," he gave another flawless smile. "I promise I didn't poison anything."

Nodding, she fed herself a forkful of pancake grinning at the taste. "It's delicious," she complimented. "But, aren't you going to eat too?" She pointed with her fork at the plates upon plates of food he had prepared; suddenly self-conscious that she was the only one eating when she really shouldn't be present.

"Of course I'm going to eat. I just wanted to make sure this feast was to your specifications." JiHoo sat down across the table fixing his own plate, a ghost of smile apparent on his lips.

"Ah…thanks." JanDi glanced down again at her plate, missing JiHoo's expression falter at the sight of his normally bubbly and talkative friend punishing herself into silence.

"You know, JanDi," he started. "It's okay, you being here. I don't mind."

JanDi shook her head unable to look JiHoo in the eyes. He was too kind to her. He was too nice. She knew that her just sitting at this table was unacceptable after what she had put him through last night.

JiHoo was about to speak again, but was interrupted to JanDi's relief by the appearance of his grandfather.

Yoon Seok-Young – dressed for work in his white lab coat and wide blue tie –walked in smiling and calm, and in that moment, JanDi noticed the remarking resemblance that the grandfather and grandson held in regards to presence and demeanor.

"Good morning you two," He took a turn to look at them both before sitting down and preparing the plate before him. "JanDi, I didn't know you were here." He commented as he spread jam on a slice of toast.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I came in late. I needed Sunbae's help with something. But umm, I can leave after breakfast." She bowed her head in apology, frantically trying to cover up her late night escapade. JiHoo frowned as it was the most he had heard her speak since she arrived.

"Oh no, don't leave on my account. You aren't over here nearly as often as you should be. Who knows, with you around again maybe JiHoo will feel inspired to do more than just read and stare at old videos of orchestral arrangements."

"It's all for work,"

"Whatever you say," JiHoo rolled his eyes, earning a chuckle from his grandfather. "Either way I'm sure you're welcome to stay as long as you like." He glanced over at his grandson for confirmation.

"Of course, the invitation has always been open." Seok-Young nodded knowingly and continued on with his toast.

No real conversation followed, and after Seok-Young finished his breakfast, he hurriedly ran to get his coat. "Sorry to have to leave like this JanDi, I hope to see you soon. And JiHoo, can you try to do something more productive than what you normally do? It's getting depressing to watch."

Once he was gone, JiHoo stood up to clear the table mumbling childishly which at least in front of people, was strangely out of character. "Really that man, he treats me like I'm still six."

"He cares about you," JanDi lightly smiled at his frustration. "It must be nice having someone care about you so much."

"I guess it's not too horrible." JiHoo placed the dishes carefully in the sink and begun running hot water. Secretly he was pleased that JanDi was finally beginning to talk, and even more so that she had smiled.

JanDi picked up her own plate to carry over, and JiHoo had mentally noted how much better she looked compared to last night. However he also noticed the distant sadness that lurked behind her eyes amidst the unnecessary embarrassment that still lingered.

"JanDi, what are you doing today?" She was standing next to him placing her dishes in the sink beside his.

"Nothing really. I would normally call GaEul, but she's gone for the week with Yi Jung to a conference."

JiHoo nodded, seamlessly pulling off an heir of nonchalance. "My grandfather is right about me not doing anything productive recently. I've been meaning to buy a couple of things over the past few weeks. I've been putting a lot off. Would you like to come?"

Internally, JiHoo was desperately hoping that she would answer positively to his invitation, and thankfully she smiled back in response. "I would love to, Sunbae. But, are you sure I won't be bothering you?"

"I invited you," JiHoo smiled. "And you could never be a bother."

JanDi wouldn't admit it to JiHoo, but going out with a friend would be a great distraction for her. After all, it was better than sitting at home alone, waiting for something that might never come.

* * *

~~~ Reviews are always appreciated ~~~


	2. Chapter 2

~~Chapter 2~~

* * *

The dark clouds from the morning had all but vanished predicting a promising day out, and having thrown on his favorite beige jeans and signature white jacket, JiHoo waited while JanDi slipped back to the bedroom to change into her clothes that he had washed during the night.

He had already informed her that they would be spending most of their day at Myeong-dong shopping around for the few things that he needed picked up. JanDi couldn't remember the last time she had gone shopping around at a district mall as JunPyo always insisted that her clothes be bought for her by his own top stylists. And as frustrating as that could be, she put up with it to please him. She had mastered the art of choosing her battles and that just wasn't one of them.

Once dressed, she met with him out in the sitting room where he handed her the white helmet that over the years had become hers. She thanked him and followed as he led the way outside, still feeling the lingering awkwardness that she just couldn't seem to shake.

As she clung to JiHoo's solid frame from the back of his motorcycle, she rested her head against his back in hopes that the rolling breeze would keep her mind clear. She didn't want to think of the present. Then again, she didn't want to think of the past or future either. To alleviate any chance of through, she instead concentrated on the rise and fall of JiHoo's back as he sped them down the road. She focused on the swirl of colors that flashed past like a painting as he picked up speed, and she felt herself relax into daydreams of being able to do this every day.

She would lace up her favorite sneakers, don her white helmet, and latch onto the only real thing she currently had in life. Her skin would sting against fresh cold air, her eyes would sparkle under traffic lights, and she'd be able to pretend, even if just for a moment, that everything was okay.

And even though she didn't want to be thinking, she was thinking about JiHoo; and that too, at least for now, was okay.

* * *

"So, what do you think?"

JanDi looked up from a rack of colorful jackets to see JiHoo holding up yet another white button-down to his chest.

"Sunbae, I think you're already wearing that shirt right now." She smiled as she resumed her browsing. They had been shopping around at numerous stores for the past few hours, and every store they entered, JiHoo seemed attracted as though by an invisible yet very adamant force, to only white attire. With JanDi's help he had managed to purchase three shirts ranging in color, but in comparison to his wardrobe at home, she doubted it would make much of a difference.

He shrugged as he held it up to himself facing a mirror. "White is my favorite color, it also seems to suit me quite well, or so I've been told." He smiled displaying his stunningly perfect white teeth that uncannily complimented the shirt he held in his hand.

JanDi just shook her head trying to hide her smile. "Whatever you say, Sunbae."

As she was filing through the jackets, she spotted a rack of dresses a few isles down that looked promising. Leaving her friend who was completely absorbed in his sea of white, she meandered down the aisles, not really worried that she would get lost. She wasn't going very far, and even though there were a lot of people, she knew that he would have no trouble finding her. He never did.

* * *

JiHoo hung the shirt back on the rack and sighed. He was happy to be out of the house, and he was even happier to be with JanDi, but he was still concerned with her lack of presence. The JanDi he knew was loud and happy. Her smile bubbled with enthusiasm and she had a personality to match. However today she had only smiled a handful of times, and even though she was beginning to talk more openly, she was clearly holding back for reasons unknown.

If she was embarrassed about last night, then he wanted to hold her close again like he had and whisper in her ear that she didn't need to be. He wanted to kiss her forehead, cheeks, neck, and lips and tell her that she never had to worry about being afraid, or embarrassed, or sad every again, and that he would make her nothing but happy. He wanted to kiss every part of her and in turn let her kiss every part of him, and the more he thought these things the angrier he became, because he knew it was wrong.

She was still married to his best friend, she still didn't love him the way he loved her, and he wanted to hold her close again like he had last night and tell her that if anything; he was the one afraid, embarrassed, and sad for harboring such thoughts, and that she deserved nothing but happiness.

Disgruntled and confused, he ran a hand through his hair and turned to check on JanDi, when his heart skipped a beat when he realized that she wasn't there.

* * *

She was amusing herself by rustling though a collection of overly priced dresses which she would never be able to afford by herself when he found her. "So I've recovered the runaway."

"I didn't runaway," JiHoo noted the smile traced on her lips which made him smile in turn. "I told you I would be over here,"

JiHoo shook his head doubtingly, but couldn't help his laughing. "Well you must be hungry after working so hard to escape. I know I can get boring after a while. How about we go and find some place for lunch?"

"That sounds good." She followed him out of the dress section, shuffling her feet along the way. Somewhere between the men's shirts and children's shoes he had slipped her hand into his own. She didn't resist the contact.

Of course this wasn't the first time she was touching him. From the countless times she rode with him on his motorcycle and wrapped her arms around his waist, to just last night, and on the many other occasions he had held her against his chest. And of course there was that one moment when they had kissed. Yes, touching JiHoo was not a foreign concept to her in the slightest. But for some reason, this simple action of just touching hands caused a blush to appear on her cheeks. She was only too grateful that he was so preoccupied in locating a place to eat that he didn't notice.

The duo walked down a few blocks, passing by a handful of restaurants that would have suited them just fine. A small ramen shop shadowed by a green overhang, a tteokbokki stand run by a cheerful round man in a washed-out red apron, a cute yellow paneled restaurant known for their famous kimichi. JanDi glanced at each place, but still, JiHoo's grip remained gentle but unwavering, and she continued to follow him down through the bustling crowd of shoppers.

He led them down two more blocks passing by yet another assortment of vendors and restaurants, when he finally stopped them in front of small red brick building adorned with a cute wooden sign hanging above. "The Lucky Lotus," in bright pink lettering and a simplistic feel held potential in JanDi's eyes, and she nodded gratefully as JiHoo held the blue painted door open.

"I think you'll really enjoy this place," he commented as they were greeted with the warm aroma of cinnamon, brewing coffee, and various perfumes of tea. Small neat tables were scattered throughout the shop, dressed in spotless white tablecloths and adorned with a single pink candle at their centers. Photographs of flowers; black and white, stenciled, sketched, printed, painted, panoramic, and dried and framed accented the cream swirl walls. It was easily the most serene café JanDi had ever before stepped foot in. Leave it to JiHoo to find such a perfect place.

"Table for two," JanDi hadn't noticed the elderly woman approach JiHoo to seat them. From her appearance she seemed to be in her late sixties, early seventies, and from her long green dress to her neatly pinned hair, gave off the immediate vibe of kind, homely grandmother.

"Right this way, Mr. Yoon." She smiled warmly at the two and quickly seated them next to a window with two menus.

"The usual I presume for you," she smiled knowingly as JiHoo returned his menu with an equally kind smile. "And what would you like dear?"

"Jasmine Green Tea please,"

"Two cinnamon honey rolls as well, Mrs. Han. Thank you."

Mrs. Han bowed and left with the menus to place their order as JanDi countered JiHoo's smile with a questioning glance. She didn't have to ask for JiHoo to understand her question.

"My grandfather and I come here quite often. I suppose you could say it's our usual place."

"Ahh," JanDi nodded and shifted her gaze so it was directed out the window instead of at his eyes.

"JanDi?"

"Hmm," She reluctantly pulled her eyes away from the man on the corner fixing a button on his coat as it was much less awkward for her to watch then the man who she didn't deserve to be sitting across from.

"Please, you know you can relax around me. We've always been relaxed with each other, haven't we? Over everything. You don't' have to act around me. So please, don't."

"Sunbae," JanDi fidgeted in her seat, afraid at where she knew this conversation would lead. "You don't have to worry about me. I shouldn't have come last night. I was scared, and lonely, and…it was a mistake."

"No," JiHoo whispered. "You're feelings, your fears…they aren't mistakes, JanDi. They're you. And…and I'm always here to help you. You need to know that you can trust me."

JanDi couldn't look him in the eyes, so she opted for her hands in her lap. "I do, JiHoo. I just need time."

There wasn't much conversation after that, as JiHoo figured pressing the topic any further would only worsen the situation. Instead they waited until Mrs. Han returned with their drinks and rolls.

"Here you are dearies, Vanilla Spice tea for the young Mr. Yoon, and Jasmine Green for his lovely date."

"We aren't dating," JiHoo chuckled. "JanDi is a very good friend."

"Well if you ask me, this boy needs to find a good pretty woman like yourself and settle down." Mrs. Han turned to face JanDi whose face has begun to turn a light shade of pink. "If not, he's liable to turn into a hooligan ladies' man like his grandfather." She chucked at her own joke and turned again leaving JanDi boiling from pink to red. "Tell your grandfather that I would like to see him more often. He doesn't come in nearly as often as he used to. He's going to work himself to death alongside my husband."

"I will pass on the message, thank you Mrs. Han." JiHoo bowed his hand before sipping his tea. Once she had left, he carefully placed his cup back down. "Sorry about that, she can be a bit eccentric sometimes."

JanDi nodded in agreement, but couldn't keep her mind from reeling into a mental image of JiHoo as a ladies' man.

Yoon JiHoo with a black leather coat, no, a white coat for sure. But he would have black boots, because every good ladies' man had polished black boots. He would fashionably remove his helmet after dismounting his motorcycle and flip his hair causing girls to swoon before his eyes, boasting his effortless blithe style. Then he might throw his helmet to the ground, but knowing JiHoo he's place it on his seat, and a few of the really obsessive fans would lunge and fight over who got to hold it. But the really lucky ones would be the two girls with the shortest dresses and most plunging neck lines that he would wrap his arms around. One inviting arm for each pair of eager bare shoulders, and he would saunter off into a mysterious bar to accompany WooBin and Yi Jung for a night in their "private room."

JanDi shook her head to erase such a thought. The fictional man that she had just created could never be her JiHoo. And then she shook her head again because she had just referred to him as 'her' JiHoo. She didn't own him, and she didn't want to admit it, but when she looked up to lock eyes with the real JiHoo, she realized that she wanted to. Her kind, loyal friend with a penchant for pancakes and white clothes, and who had always been there for her was a man who she wished she could call hers.

Then she remembered why she wanted such a thing, and why she felt like she was dragging a load of bricks with her everywhere she went, and why she had knocked on JiHoo's door in an attempt to remove a few of them, because his presence always seemed to lighten her heart.

She quickly lifted her cup and sipped her tea, because JiHoo was still looking at her, and if he asked why she was crying, she wanted to be able to tell him that the tea was really hot…but that it was also really good.

* * *

~~~Reviews are always appreciated~~~


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